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Adjusting To Being A Single Mother
from: Karlie BestlerSingle mothers are effectively left with the task of sole parenting and having to assume all related roles and responsibilities of raising children. Personal circumstances, divorce, abandonment, and death of partner are some of the main reasons that leave the main custodial responsibilities of raising children to a single mother. Few parents are really prepared for dealing with the aftermath of the loss of a partner, regardless of the cause.
Single mothers are lone caretakers and sole supporters of the family. Single mothers parenting alone have to cope with all the care giving, nurturing, role modeling, challenges, rewards, obstacles and joys meant for a partnership of two parents.
Single mothers parenting alone can be overwhelming and and extremely tough. Single mothers parenting alone means having no one to share the load of responsibility. Feelings of desperation, being overwhelmed and stressed out are very typical for single mothers parenting alone. The demands of single parenting can seem like insurmountable challenges on any given day.
There are different stages in the process of becoming, living, functioning and thriving as a single mother:
1. Single mothers parenting starts out with a reality check and an assessment of the situation. It will take some time for yourself and your children to work through the emotional challenges of the new situation and the set of circumstances and the transitioning into being a single mother.
2. Structuring and organizing the new family unit to function under new circumstances and surroundings. All the household responsibilities will now fall on the lone shoulders of the single mother and she will need to restructure how the family functions to meet the needs of all the individuals in the family, as well as how the family functions as a collective unit.
3. Functioning as a family. Fostering relationships and establishing bonds, trust, honesty, disciplines, roles and responsibilities of each family member.
4. Establishing a support system to help with responsibilities of school, family, friends, and family management.
5. Dealing with specifics of divorce, death, abandonment.
Being a single mother is a process of adjusting to a gradually unfolding series of events in which she must:
* Meeting new demands without the help of a partner.
* Helping the children cope and thrive with their loss and change of circumstances.
* Coping with the feelings and emotions of loss of partner.
* Moving from old to new situation and reality, and even the uncertainty of moving on.
Being a single mother is a work in progress and it will take some time.
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